One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say “I still live with my parents and I and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say “lettuce” and if you want to go faster say “tomato”

So they were getting it on and she was screaming “lettuce, lettuce, tomato, lettuce, tomato, tomato”

Suddenly the older brother (on the bottom bunk) said,

“Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase all over me”!