Did you know that this week is National Condom Week? Here’s a salute to the new condoms on the market!

Lumberjack Condoms
For the woody that won’t be cut down.

Sprout Condoms
Add a little moisture, and watch it grow!

Helium Condoms
For those flaccid moments when you just need a lift…

KFC Condoms
When you just need to wing it.

ASPCA condoms
For that lil’ pup in you!

Howdy Doody Condoms
When you know “what time it is!!”

Lassie Condoms
When you know she’s a bitch, but you’re gonna do her anyway!

George W. Bush Condoms
When “Junior” wants to take over!

Yawn Condoms
When you’re bored stiff.

Memory Condoms
When it’s on the tip of your tongue.

Chatterbox Condoms
When you need to talk it up.

Cheerleader Condoms
When you want it Rah!

Scorpion Condoms
When you wanna sting ‘er!

Jock Condoms
When it’s a team effort!

Prone Condoms
When you flat-out want it.

Pitching Wedge Condom
For those special moments in the rough!

Electrical Condom
Cures the shorts in your pants!

Plumbing Condom
When you know you’re gonna clean those pipes!